I’m going into week two of choosing to stay indoors at all times.
So it’s given me some time to dust off the piano and learn some new songs.
It’s a way I’ve chosen to integrate some play and creativity during these tough times.
As I play, it reminds me of my late mom, who found a way for me to get piano lessons even when she was already working multiple jobs just to make ends meet.
My heart swells with love and gratitude as I play each note. Woven into those feelings is the ache I often feel when I miss my mom, which is often.
I remember pulling a crumpled bill out my pocket and handing it to my piano teacher.
I was 11 years old.
And after years of begging my mom for piano lessons, I was thrilled that I was finally going to have them!
My piano teacher (Mrs. Templeton, I think?) only lived a block away so I could walk over easily.
The bill was either a five or a ten. But in any case, it was an amount that my mom thought she could contribute to my lessons.
Nowadays, my brother and I joke that our mom was so generous with what she could give, that we didn’t realize that we were poor.
And not only that, but that for much of our childhood we lived in poverty.
She always had a “we can make it no matter what” attitude.
She believed it.
And so naturally, so did we.
It just goes to show that scarcity and abundance are simply a matter of mindset.
You may not like hearing this, but we can choose.
Thank you mom, for teaching me that splitting our meals at the restaurant was way more fun than having our own orders.
That sleeping on the floor in the same room with a bunch of family members was way more fun than sleeping in my own room (which I did not always have).
For all the many gifts you gave me…from seeing the light in even the darkest situations.
For the ability to create music to soothe my tired brain.
Thank you for all the lessons I carry with me, no matter the circumstances.
They are serving me now.
They were serving me then.
They serve me always.
As I wrap up these words, I’m feeling so many emotions.
I feel love and sadness. I feel uncertainty and hope. I feel groundless and grounded.
I feel it all. And it’s ok.
I welcome and honor all these feelings. I allow them to come. And then to go.
With love and gratitude,