Confession: I don’t always want to meditate.
Sometimes, I just don’t feel like it.
And when the shit hits the fan, I want to skip it entirely and go into “fix it now!” mode.
And while I’m sharing honestly…these past few months there’ve been days that I was so wrapped up in the angst of what’s been going on, I’ve skipped meditation on some days altogether.
I remember the first time I broke my meditation streak.
I’d been meditating for over 400 days straight and broke it while I was hosting one of my own wellness retreats.
I guided meditation for others…but ironically neglected my own.
My first reaction was to be really hard on myself.
“You’re a freaking meditation teacher, Janice? What’s wrong with you?”
But I’m human.
And, where before I would have spun in self-flagellation for perhaps weeks or months at a time, the self-criticism I felt came…
…and then went.
Because I noticed it. Acknowledged it.
And this allowed me to let it go.
And then I just got back up on the horse and started my practice again.
Same thing has happened in the past several weeks. There’ve been some days I’d only meditated once…or didn’t meditate at all that day.
I noticed the self-shaming….acknowledged it…..allowed it…
…let it go.
Having a meditation practice is not about becoming a perfect meditator.
I always return to my practice because it’s helped me tremendously in cultivating grace and compassion.
Not only to others.
But also for myself.
Each moment is another opportunity to begin again. 🙂
What practices help you do the same? Is meditation something you’ve tried and has helped you?
With love and gratitude,