What a whirlwind of a month it’s been.
In the past couple of weeks we’ve moved our lives from Boston to Florida. Our new space won’t be ready to move into until early August, so we’ve been living in a couple of Airbnbs.
Things I’ve learned in the past few weeks:
There were several days where my routines either weren’t what I planned or didn’t happen at all. The first feeling that came up was angst….for not prioritizing my self-care and productivity practices…and then angst around beating myself up for not prioritizing my self-care and productivity practices! WHOA. Talk about a vicious cycle that absolutely did not/does not serve me in any way.
But the interesting thing is that two things were happening that weren’t happening before: AWARENESS and WITNESSING of these emotions. Where before I would be so immersed in it that I was completely identifying with it all, nowadays I am WATCHING myself experiencing these things.
What this has allowed me to do is to create some space between what’s causing the angst and my response.
So instead of defaulting to “old programming” (i.e. pouting, criticizing other parties, playing the victim or blame game) in this space, I can choose a response that is more about curiosity, collaboration, and coming up with creative solutions to the “issue” at hand.
Does this mean that I instantly stop feeling cranky about things? Or that I’m always choosing the “more evolved” way?
No, this is not always the case.
BUT. The crankiness/angst/anger (etc) has a much shorter cycle….and truly, sometimes the awareness alone can stop the negative cycle in its tracks.
And that is truly no small thing.
Those who know me well know that I often attribute my meditation practice to this.
I’ve been going through some big change and it’s one of the main things that has kept me grounded. Through this practice, I’ve been exercising something I had not been doing for most of my life: self-compassion.
And we can all use a bit more of that, don’t you think?